I wrote a piece that was published in TBI Hope magazine two years ago and the Brain Injury Association of America published it in their most recent publication The Challenge. “She Looks Fine” appears on page 14. The inspiration came to me one day after someone commented that Olivia “looks fine”.
What exactly does that mean?
I have heard this comment so many times over the past 20 years. Doctors, nurses, teachers, friends, and family members have uttered those words. Yes, she does look fine. She looked fine the moment we arrived in the emergency room. She looked like she was sleeping peacefully. A few years ago we finally had the opportunity to meet with two of the first responders on the scene. One of them told me, “I first thought to myself oh, the baby slept through the accident but, then I tapped her and realized she wasn’t sleeping or breathing.” Read more about this meeting here.
Many brain injuries are not visible. Some survivors have scars or suffer from physical ailments but many do not. There is a phrase used in brain injury communities quite often, if you have seen one brain injury then you have seen one brain injury because no two are alike. Those words come to me every time someone says, “she looks fine”. She does and I am so grateful for that.
Olivia and Kelly Lang
She is a beautiful young lady. She is kind, compassionate, stubborn, and so many other things. But she has a brain injury and it has lasting effects. These will not disappear. In some ways brain injury is similar to mental health, we can not always tell when someone is suffering. It is hidden and the individuals have coping skills they employ to hide their inner feelings. That doesn't make it any less real.
We all need to have an open mind when someone tells us they have a disability we cannot “see”. Remember just because they look fine doesn’t mean they are.
Kelly Lang